Martin Hoyle was arrested by police after a passing motorist found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire. Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal but when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.
Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road. Hoyle, of Marsh, Huddersfield, told police, "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me." He repeated the rape allegation at the police station and added, "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.
His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed. Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle, "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness."
But I digress...that my parents used to read out the names of the recently departed is not unusual. It turns out this happened in the households of all my friends too. How morbid, I used to think. In recent times, however, I've taken to reading the obituaries in The Guardian every day. And not just the great and the good. The Guardian encourages the general public to send in obituaries for their own dearly departed, regardless of whether they've ever graced the pages of Hello or Heat magazine, or been interviewed by Parky. I like this.
I've been moved to tears during my morning coffee in the café recently by a couple of obituaries. One was for Pat Kavanagh, the literary agent. I'd read her name many times in articles over the years, but knew very little about her. Clive James wrote a beautiful piece about a woman who was hugely admired and respected, but didn't suffer fools gladly:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2008/oct/21/publishing
The second is Oliver Postgate, creator of well-loved characters such as Bagpuss, The Clangers, Ivor The Engine, but also of a less well known favourite of mine, The Pogles of Pogles' Wood. Much has been written about Mr Postgate this week. Well-respected and liked, he was the kind of lovely man to create brilliantly simple cartoons and animation and imbue them with such warmth and humanity. You only have to hear that voice... Here are just some views on his work:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/dec/10/bagpuss-oliver-postgate
But one of the best was the piece written by top journalist, Charlie Brooker. Never afraid to rip the heart out of anything he thinks worthless, Mr Brooker brought a tear to my eye with his piece about King Clanger:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2008/dec/13/charlie-brooker-screen-burn-oliver-postgate
