Je Ne Regrette Rien (apart from the snoring)

A while back, part of my family asked me if I'd like to accompany them to the south of France on holiday. I was so touched to be asked that I said yes. I got back from les vacances avec famille today. Things I have learnt this week include:

• Some people play drum and bass and raging techno at breakfast time. These people have now been introduced to John Martyn and Nick Drake.
• Some people wear aftershave. Lots of it.
• Some people snore very loudly. When they're sharing a room. And are lucky not to be smothered in the middle of the night.
• Some people want to watch television when they are on holiday in France. English television via satellite. Programmes like GMTV, Emmerdale Farm and that hospital thing on the BBC.
• Some people are related to me. And I love them regardless.

France is quite lovely. Spectacular countryside. Went to Monaco for the day, as Bro-In-Law is a Grand Prix fan. I never expected a road tunnel to create so much excitement in a 58 year old man.


But I got to see the Casino, which is a lovely example of Art-Nouveau-era architecture, so all was not lost. 

There's an awful lot of dosh floating around in Monaco - literally. Massive yachts fill the harbour, virtually every other car is a Bentley. Liked this little ship best:

Did a bit of pottering about - popped out to the village shop one day, and saw this fella watching the world go by from his balcony:

Un trés cool chien. He couldn't have been any cooler if he'd been wearing Raybans and smoking Gauloises.

I also played with my great-nephew (GREAT??? Who are you - Miss Havisham? You sound about a hundred). He is very cute, as small human beings go:

My niece's snoring became such a problem, I went to the pharmacy to see if I could get some earplugs. The conversation included me saying "je veux acheter quelque choses pour me aider pas d'ecoute" which I thought was pretty good. She seemed to be getting the picture, when I hit her with the pièce de resistance, "l'autre fille dans ma chambre - elle *insert loud imitation of snoring*, at which the lady laughed out loud and went into a drawer and pulled out some ear plugs. Result.

I read (again) Robert Graves' autobiography "Goodbye To All That". I swear I could read this book every year. I might have to ration it. And I listened to lots of Zep, Vetiver, Black Mountain, Cave Singers, John Martyn...and Smog, who I've only just discovered and I am a bit in love with his voice already.

All in all, a few days well spent. If my sister Liz were still alive, she'd have loved it. Even the snoring and the techno.